Life With 2

So pretty much everyone knows that I've been terrified of having two kids from the second I saw two pink lines on that stick.  I was excited and happy as well of course, but definitely scared.  My worry increased as soon as my mother-in-law left last week and I knew that starting the following Monday (this week) when Michael left for work I'd be on my own for the first time with a newborn and a very young toddler.  

In all honesty, Monday was a bit of a nightmare.  The morning started out okay, but by about 4 p.m. I had tears in my eyes.  Both kids were crying and I felt like I couldn't be there fully for either one.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief when Michael got home.  Tuesday was better.  Wednesday was hard but it started to feel different.... This new life I had that involved taking care of two kids started to feel more like the new normal.  So on Thursday, I decided to take both kids out.  By myself.  Somewhere other than for a quick "walk" within a 20 foot radius of our apartment.  This might seem silly to you, but it was a big deal to me.  I kept it simple by taking them to a nearby park.  I chose a park with a parking lot that was super close to the play area and that also tended to not be very crowded.

By far the hardest part was getting OUT THE DOOR.  Ha!  It seriously took two hours after I started attempting to get out for us to actually get into the dang car!  Kate needed to eat.  Then Matthew needed lunch.  Then Kate needed a diaper change.  Then she needed to eat again.  Matthew lost his shoe and then needed a diaper change.  We finally found the shoe/changed his diaper and Kate had fallen asleep.  She got startled when Matthew kicked her car seat and wakes up crying and takes a while to calm down.  And then she needed to eat.  (This girl EATS, let me tell you.  It'll be nice when I get her on a proper eating schedule).  Matthew started whining because he was getting impatient and I'm about ready to give up on getting out for the day.  But then I decided that just because it's hard doesn't mean that I just give up on it.  If I started living that way, we'd never do a dang thing, and that is definitely not the kind of mom that I want to be.  So I finally get Matthew and Kate out the door and we're off!

Guess what?  The park was awesome.  Well, every second wasn't awesome, but it sure was great to get us all out of the house.  Matthew was in heaven.  

Awesome parts:

Not-so-awesome parts:

We even made it back to the park again today!  Baby steps.  ;-)

We also decided to make, "Something being hard is NOT an excuse to not do it" a family motto.  While I think it's very important to give myself a break sometimes (okay, OFTEN) :-) and not expect perfection from myself or anyone else, it's also important to remember that most things that are awesome really aren't very easy.... so unless I want to live a less-than-stellar life, I'd better remember that.

You know something else I've learned?  I'm still really not doing this on my own.  I have awesome friends, family, and VT's who have made my life so much easier this week.  Two wonderful ladies brought me dinner, and a couple others brought me treats.  Others gave me words of encouragement, and even texts asking me how I'm doing have made a difference.  I really hope that I can become more charitable and thoughtful after witnessing the way these women have blessed my life this week.

Oh, and for the record, I really love having two kids.  We're all learning to be more patient and we're figuring it out.  Together. Despite the bad/hard moments, this is my new normal and I am thrilled about it.  I'd do it over again in a heartbeat.

Kate's binky fell out, and Matthew put it back in for her.  This is a big deal for him because he usually tries to steal it.  I actually thought I'd be getting a picture of Matthew with the binky in his mouth, but got this picture instead.  Warms my heart!  ;-)

Love these two.  So glad that I have them, and that they have each other.